Here we go again…Hannah’s had a good night’s sleep (though woke up before the nurse came to wake her at 6 for a last drink of water). I managed to sleep through most of the crying babies and beeping monitors (or go back to sleep after every noise woke me up)<\/span>, but woke up at 4.45am and that was that. Still, that’s considerably more sleep than last night. It’s amazing how quickly we always adapt to sleeping on the noisy wards!<\/span><\/p>\n When Hannah comes back from her shower, I’ll plait her hair again and then we’ll wait…<\/p>\n 9.15am<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Hannah<\/a> has just gone in. Bless her, even with the pre-meds and completely zonked, she was upset once she was on the bed in the anaesthetic room. She welled up and was still trying to be really brave and stoic, as always.<\/span><\/p>\n Now, we have a good cry….and we wait for news this afternoon.<\/p>\n 10am<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n We’re back in our room in Ronald McDonald House<\/a>, having vacated Hannah’s bed space on Ward 12 and updated everyone that Hannah’s gone into surgery.\u00a0 I have to have a good cry!\u00a0 I’ve held back for so long, having to make the experience as calm and stress-free as possible for Hannah, but I’m scared.\u00a0 Terrified.\u00a0 What if something goes wrong?\u00a0 I know that she’s in the best possible hands.\u00a0 I know that the odds are strongly in her favour.\u00a0 But.\u00a0 But…I’m human and I’m her mum.\u00a0 Simon’s scared, too.\u00a0 What if the tearful eyes that looked at me in the anaesthesia room are the last time she looked at me?\u00a0 What if her last ever thoughts were scared ones?\u00a0 I can’t think like that.\u00a0 I shouldn’t think like\u00a0 that.\u00a0 But the fear is there.\u00a0 Today, of all days, it’s normal to feel like this, I think.<\/p>\n After I’ve had a good cry, I have a long hot shower and wash my hair.\u00a0 That feels really good!\u00a0 Simon and I go into town.\u00a0 We have to buy a few essentials.<\/p>\n We then go for lunch.\u00a0 It feels like our lives revolve around eating and waiting, not just on the day of the surgery, but whenever Hannah or Charlie are in hospital!\u00a0 We have a wonderful Indian meal from the same place Simon took Hannah to in the evening before her last cardiac catheterisation – it appears our ‘directory’ of places we eat when our children are in hospital is ever-expanding!\u00a0 We even manage normal conversation.\u00a0 We’re just two people in a restaurant, having lunch.\u00a0 I manage not to blubber away at the dinner table.\u00a0 Makes a change!<\/p>\n We get the last few bits & pieces from the local mini-supermarket and walk back to our parents’ accommodation.<\/p>\n 2pm<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n My ‘phone rings.\u00a0 I jump out of my skin! “Mum, I’ve got to keep the line clear! I’ll let you know as soon as I have news!” Hm, maybe shouldn’t have quite bitten her head off like that \ud83d\ude41\u00a0 She probably only wanted to know when we want her to come over here from her hotel.<\/p>\n 2.40pm<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n First ‘phonecall to Ward 12 to find out if they have any news.\u00a0 Nothing yet.\u00a0 No surprises there.\u00a0 Whatever duration they give us, it’s always longer, because there’s lots they do after the surgery itself ends before they notify us that she’s ready for us to go and see her.\u00a0 Especially when it’s surgery requiring intensive care afterwards…that can take over an hour for them to get a child connected to mobile monitors etc, then transported to ICU, then settled into the bed there and hooked up to all their monitors, all the IVs set up etc.<\/p>\n The nurse suggests trying to call again at 3pm.<\/p>\n And the wait continues…<\/p>\n A few messages from friends & family start appearing on phones & Facebook.\u00a0 “We’ll tell you once we have news”.\u00a0 That’s all we can say.\u00a0 We know no more than anyone else but are very touched by all the concern, support and love out there.\u00a0 It really does help to know so many people are rooting for Hannah!<\/p>\n 3.20pm<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n We ‘phone Ward 12 again.\u00a0 They check. She’s not in ICU yet.\u00a0 They have no further news.\u00a0 No idea whether still in surgery or being prepped for ICU.\u00a0\u00a0 We’re advised to try again in an hour if we’ve not heard anything.<\/p>\n I remind myself that the time to worry would be if we got a call from the surgeons.\u00a0 No news is good news, kind of. We know it takes time.\u00a0 We know to expect it to take longer than anticipated.\u00a0 Still…it doesn’t make it any easier.<\/p>\n The wait continues…<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a04pm<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Simon’s ‘phone rings.\u00a0 I jump out of my skin.\u00a0 It’s something completely unrelated.\u00a0\u00a0 Some semblance of normal life carries on and everyday stuff still needs to be dealt with.<\/p>\n 4.30pm<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n I phone the Ward again.\u00a0 They can’t get through to ICU.\u00a0 They call me back 20 mins later.\u00a0 She’s still not in ICU, so no further news.<\/p>\n I am lying on my bed in parents’ accommodation, reading my book (thank goodness it’s a really gripping one!), but am struggling.\u00a0 I can only concentrate for a few minutes at a time.\u00a0 Besides, I’m so tired, I keep nodding off and waking myself up with a great big snoring snort as soon as I do!!! So, I can’t sleep, but I can’t seem to fully stay awake, either.<\/p>\n I respond to more messages from friends & family – “no news yet”.<\/p>\n This feels incredibly familiar.\u00a0 We’ve been here before.\u00a0 At least with the benefit of experience, the wait is something we were anticipating.\u00a0 We worry, but we worry less about it taking longer than we would have done if we were new at this.\u00a0 It’s still horrible though.\u00a0 Wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy!<\/p>\n 5.45pm<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n (a lot of the rest of this post was written on my phone while sitting & watching Hannah, so it’s a bit more ‘stream of consciousness’ in notes form!)<\/strong><\/em> We send a few frantic messages to reassure people while picking up my mum who was snoozing in the parents’ accommodation lounge and hot-footing it to intensive care.<\/p>\n Hannah looks good. We speak to the ICU Registrar then one of the surgeons (main surgeon tied up with very sick baby. Might see us tonight or tomorrow). Surgery took a very long time because of all the adhesions as result of last surgery and long time between the two.<\/p>\n The branches they patched were very long and very narrow and furred up, so had to slice and patch a lot! Used bovine patches for these but human tissue for the conduit replacement.<\/p>\n Lost quite a lot of blood and had low blood pressure issue in surgery but resolved with fluids and a bit of blood.<\/p>\n Next few hours crucial. May wake her up tonight, depending on how she’s doing.<\/p>\n![\"clock](\"http:\/\/www.happiness-speaker.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/clock.png\")
<\/a><\/p>\nTick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock…<\/h5>\n
\nWe call the ward again. They check with ICU.\u00a0 Hannah’s finally down there. Nearly 9 hours after we left her!<\/p>\n
![\"The](\"http:\/\/www.happiness-speaker.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/2014-08-12-20.17.57-1024x576.jpg\")
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